April 18, 2018
I thought it would be a good time to hear from the dying one, the other person wandering through this grief stricken landscape. My words won’t be so eloquent or as emotionally honed as Candida’s, for these are where her strengths lie. However, I will present as best as I can.
I remember the moment of panic that Candida described. It was the moment when my physical vehicle, my body Deva, recognized that it had an endpoint, and that was a certainty. At that moment, I was retching violently, and unable to breathe. Those sensations, coupled with the primordial realization of finality, propelled me physically to a place I had never been before. It did galvanize me, however, to action on the physical plane. I was sure to have my DNR order entered into my chart, and also I understood that it was time for what may be final visits from loved ones.
Returning to my center, I felt a great sense of love and compassion for the body. This old friend, who had taken me through almost 68 years of life, was reaching its end. I wept long and hard for it that day. What then followed was the visualization that Candida described so well.
I am left with a new clarity, peace, and abiding love. For my body, for my life, those I love, and for Life itself. I feel ready for whatever comes next, and for whatever duration that entails. I am grateful for all these gifts, and for all those who have supported and witnessed. I am truly blessed. There is infinitely more to say, feel, and process, but all that can be done in Silence.